Natalia's grief over the memories of her daughter, Maria Monique (wrote by Djaka Susila, Vice Editor Harian Seputar Indonesia)

The tears haven't dried up from thirty-six year-old Natalia Tjahja, even though her seven year-old daughterm Maria Monique, has now rest in peace. Her daughter's struggle against a malignant disease made her strong. Now, she could only keep her daughter in her heart. Met in a Central Jakarta Mall, Natalia was unable to hide her soaked eyes. "I'm sorry I have to wear these glasses, its my eyes. I still cry a lot," said the Jakarta woman.
She admitted that losing her only daughter, is something time wont heal. However, Natalia says she could now let her only daughter go. Monique was born on July 5th, 1998 as a healthy baby girl, with a fresh-white and a bit reddish skin.
Monique was a smart kid who didn't like to give Natalia, later a single paret, a hard time. Because when she was four, Monique had to face the fact that her mother split with her father. Monique was also kind, pleasant and active. She used to like watching sinetrons. People then believed, Monique was strong. The only ailness she had then was just common cold.

But on Sunday, January 1st 2006, it all changed. Monique had a fever upto 39 degrees celcies. Back then, Natalia didn't take her straight to the doctor, instead she gave Monique fever medications. But the fever stayed.
Afraid it was something harmful, Natalia took her to the doctor. The doctor prescribed her antibiotics and said to come back if the fever doesn't wear off in three days. Three days later, Monique grew weak, and her body temperature remained high. Natalia took her to another doctor. She got similar prescriptions: antibiotics. The result was also the same, not helping.

A visit to another doctor shed some hope with Monique finally able to sweat. But healing was still away for the child. Her thrombosite declined rapidly, from 70 thousand, to 40 thousand. Monique was moved from hospital to hospital, away and near her house.

A latter check-up of Monique condition showed a negative thrombosite. The doctors suspected Monique had a leukemia or blood cancer. Doctors finally conducted a bone-marrow check-up. "I diasgreed to that because it was too risky," said Natalia.

Monique had had to be administered hemoglobin, three times a day, with one-shot cost 5 million rupiah. She was at the intensive care unit. Natalia also said that one time, a nurse took Monique's blood and left her with a bluish face.
Having little progress, Monique went back home. Her fever lowered for a couple of days, to 37 degrees celsius. But it rose again, this time, with suffocation.

Natalia then chose traditional Chinese medications. "I gave her a Beijing Tong Renthang, given by a Chinese doctor and her fever improved," she said. But Monique didn't continue the medication, because it was too bitter for her.
On february 11th, Monique's fever soared to 40 degrees celcius. To add to Natalia's panic, Monique coughed blood. She was then rushed to the nearest hospital.

Why not to a different hospital? "I was giving it a shot, who knows it went well," she said. It that hospital, Monique was again given antibiotics. And again, the doctor said it was leukemia.
At another hospital, the diagnoses was not leukemia. For three days Monique was restless. She was infact oxygen deprived. "In pain, she held her cough and said 'I'm alright mom'," said Natalia. Having her health deteriorated, Monique had to undergone blood transfusion. But the stock for a type O was out. Another alternative was a bone-marrow suction in Singapore. In critical condition, Natalia's mother screamed when she saw Monique gasping. She was very much deprived of oxygen.

"I could still hear her screaming my daughter's name out loud. The scream repeated over and over from my daughter's infirmary in the hospital. I hear at least three screams," said Natalia, very much in grief with the memory.
Her loud voice echoed in the 3rd floor of the hospital. Natalia, who was in the nurse's room rushed to Monique's room. Natalia's mother said her grand daughter was gasping. It could have been the oxygen hose. Furthermore, the heart monitor flat-lined. Doctors then said Monique is technically dead. "I cried and ask God not to take her away," said Natalia. Her wish was granted. At the ICCU, Monique's pulse reappeared. Confused of her daughter's ailness, Natalia took Monique for another diagnose. From an internist, a surprising fact was uncovered. A two centimeter long bacteria, was spotted at her heart's valve.

A surgery was later scheduled for February 18th. But another disappointment came as the surgeon preferred to take a leave. Natalia had in mind to take Monique to a heart specialist hospital, but the hospital was full. Monique was eventually taken to Singapore on chartered flight. “We had to charter because a machine was attached to Monique prior to her treatment at the Mount Elizabeth hospital’s ICCU,” said Natalia. A doctor directly gave a bacterial infection diagnose. Bacteria Achinatobacter Baumanii, Enterobacter Cloace, and Sterecoccus have spread through Monique’s heart and lungs.

With all available resources, Monique was treated intensively. But Monique’s condition fell again. Her heartbeat stopped. Natalia cried and begged doctors to help. Five minutes later, Monique’s pulse was seen again. Another miracle had happened. Monique’s heart stopped again. And this time for more than one hour. Doctors proclaiomed her death. Tears were shed. But God’s miracle happened again when her pulse, again, showed up. Eight doctors were in the team to help Monique. They gave up over Monique’s severe brain damagae. Several other surgeries were conducted. At last, on March 27th, Monique took her last breath. This time, her heartbeat stopped, and never beat again.